The Unforgotten Babies: The Inspiration Behind the Buttons Project
Marina and Peter's abortion story and journey of healing not only helps others on their journey of healing, but also helps those who find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy and are going through life-changing decision making. The Unforgotten Babies help people to be fully inf... read full description below.
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||25 January 2018 by WILD SIDE PUBLISHING
||By Young, Marina
By Young, Peter
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||Social Issues, Services & Welfare
Description of this Book
Healing starts the moment you feel heard. This is part of my abortion story and journey of healing. Along with my husband, Peter, sharing from a male perspective, which is often not heard. I am not a counsellor, but someone with certain life experiences which has shaped me into the person I am today. I did, however, train in Mental Health and did some community papers, which have given an added insight into the effects abortion can have on a person's emotional and physical wellbeing. Through my own journey and hearing from many other post abortive women, the realisation of what we have done may hit within days of the termination, months or not come for many years. Realising that for many of us, the periods of depression, anxiety and unfi llable void within, can often link back to the abortion. Many post abortive women are struggling alone with their pain and just waiting for the right person to hear her story. Someone who understands what she's going through and someone who will not condemn her or minimise what has happened. Our hope is that sharing some of our story, will not only help others on their journey of healing, but also help those that find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy and are going through life-changing decision making. That people will be fully informed and know of all support options available to them. Walk gently in people's lives, as you never know what they have been through, or going through at this very moment and they are just waiting for the right person to hear their story -- Marina Young
Awards, Reviews & Star Ratings
||0800 728 470 A 'lived experience', written with humble honesty, allowing the reader new insights. A very valuable resource for New Zealand and beyond. Cushla Hassan BN.NZRCN., Co-founder & Clinical Nurse Manager GP based Hapai Taumaha Haputanga, Crisis Pregnancy Support www.crisispregnancysupport.org.nz I am so grateful to both Marina and Peter for opening up their lives and experience in order that others might hear about the reality of abortion and its effect on women, men, marriages, families, and ultimately, society. This resource speaks truth, and as we know from the Gospel of John, the truth will set you free. Please read this book - and then share it! Choose life. Bob McCoskrie, National Director, Family First NZ www.familyfirst.org.nz Unforgotten Babies is the story behind the Buttons Project. A personal story of two people; Marina and Peter Young. Nothing speaks louder than personal experiences and when it comes to the experience of abortion, we know that it takes courage to share one's story. In reading the booklet, I appreciated the authors' owning and heartfelt expressions of the reality of what happened and what it has meant. What stands out is how abortion is never an isolated event. It happens in the context of each individual's personal history, and the circumstances at the time of the pregnancy as perceived and experienced by each person, and the partnership. This creates an often complex web of influence which plays out over time for two souls genuinely seeking a good outcome to what is a difficult and problematic situation filled with conflict and emotion. It is often underestimated how much an abortion experience can impact and alter a person. This booklet describes clearly how an abortion can be significant and the effects lasting and widespread. I was deeply struck by Marina's attitude, as an adult mother herself, to her mum, which was aptly reflected in the quote she shared: Before you start to judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life I'm living, and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see how strong I really am. Also I was moved deeply by Peter's admission of the change in him afterwards. I realised I needed healing... to acknowledge my failings, admitting my mistakes and seeking... forgiveness. That philosophy, understanding and respect is now demonstrated in Marina and Peter's work with the Buttons Project, where they are able to use their own abortion experience to reach out and support others on their journey of healing. They offer Christ-like love and acceptance in meeting others who are struggling with the loss and trauma of a recent or past experience. And the buttons being collected signify that each life mattered, which is hugely powerful, as abortion remains such a disenfranchised loss. Thank you Marina and Peter for your willingness to be open about how abortion touched and changed each of you, and you as a couple. I sincerely hope that in reading your booklet, others with similar experiences will feel that they are not alone, and can find hope as you have done. May you be richly blessed as you bless others with the Buttons Project. Carolina Gnad, Founder & Co-ordinator of Education & Training P.A.T.H.S. (Post Abortion Trauma Healing Service) www.postabortionpaths.org.nz
So often we look at other people, and think they have got it all together. But you never know the journey someone else has travelled. My name is Marina and I am a New Zealander. My husband, Peter, and I have been married for 28+ years, and we have three adult children. Over the years, our marriage-like everyone else's-has had its ups and downs. But we also carried within our hearts a deep and secret loss. A loss which we could not grieve for or talk about openly. Peter accompanied me to the abortion clinic, where I met with a counsellor. She agreed with my anxieties, indicated it was for the best, and promised to hold my hand during the procedure. I was still frightened and confused, but agreed to go through with it. I was awake during the whole thing and felt the suction: it took all of 10 minutes to change my life. Although my main feeling at the time was numbness, that day is forever etched in my memory. I will never forget the other women in the recovery room crying for the babies they had lost. A part of me died. I changed from an outgoing girl to someone who was more withdrawn, more within myself. Few people close to me knew what had happened; not my friends, didn't tell my parents. It would have been their first grandchild. I realized quickly there was no place to openly grieve our loss. Our marriage became marked by periods of private depression, when I mourned the loss of our baby. I was often distant, withdrawn. Peter too was suffering but he dealt with it inside and didn't want to show it. He wanted to put it all behind us. We had difficulty communicating. I suffered emotionally and physically. As our family grew, I would look at our children and see their similarities and wonder which sibling our first baby would have most resembled. I still wonder. And, yes, sometimes there are still tears. Over the past few years, however, I have grown as a person, as a wife and as mother to my children. Peter and I were able to come to a point where we grieved together, which enabled us to move forward. I have walked a long road to grace and forgiveness-and it is because of this healing that I can now talk about it openly. The abortion experience has never left me, and for years I have wondered how to give other women like myself a safe place to grieve; how to give them a way to commemorate the babies lost. For there is no grave we can visit, no place to lay flowers, no tangible way of remembering them. Then I came across the story of the Paper Clip Project, and the idea for the Buttons Project was born. My journey of healing has led to strength and hope-and a passion to help others who have been through a similar experience. Sending in a button or a story won't heal anyone in and of itself, but it is a place to start... or one of many steps for someone already on the journey to healing. I named our aborted baby, Hope. Hope for the future; hope to be a good mum, wife and friend: hope to make a positive difference in this world. And so I have started the project by giving a button. It is for my baby, Hope, and for me. It is for hope in the future and peace with the past. It is for closure, and to commemorate something that was a part of us. I look forward to receiving many, many more buttons-and to hearing your comments and stories. We have written a booklet The Unforgotten Babies The inspiration behind the Buttons Project. It is part of my abortion story and journey of healing. Along with my husband Peter, sharing from a male perspective, which is often not heard. If you are interested in this booklet, which also has links to where to get help, please contact me on email@example.com or order through www.buttonsproject.org or Amazon Marina Young